Krystal Jugarap [00:01:07]:
Today we are sitting with the amazing Veronica Weedon, who is an integrative health and relationship coach. She is a rapid transformation therapy practitioner and also the founder of Revival Health, which is a practice that helps people debunk their fears and regain that personal power after toxic relationships. And we actually connected because she's also going to be an upcoming speaker for the woman thrive summit happening in March of 2024. So definitely keep tabs on that. There are some amazing speakers coming your way. But Veronica, I am so excited to be diving into all of these amazing things that you're doing. But first and foremost, thank you so much for joining us today.
Veronica W [00:01:46]:
Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.
Krystal Jugarap [00:01:49]:
Absolutely. So I like to just dive right into it and have you tell us a little bit about your story. So talk to us about your journey, your background and how that led you to doing what you do today and also kind of give us a little bit background of revival health and all these other things that you're doing.
Veronica W [00:02:07]:
So, like many people who entered the coaching world, I think I started in the corporate world and actually I worked through the nonprofit, the private sector and the corporate world. So I did the full spectrum. But in my had a decade of a lot of hardship. There was a lot of death in my family, and also I found myself in extremely toxic relationships not knowing that that's what they were. I knew I was unhappy, and my physical health kept getting worse and worse, and I ended up with symptoms like a seizure, I had back surgery, and other sort of serious ailments. Ultimately, that led me to a very low point in my life, and I knew that something had to change and that something was actually me. It was a someone, because I couldn't keep going on the path that I was going. And that led me on a personal healing journey where I tried everything under the sun.
Veronica W [00:03:02]:
So you name it, I probably tried it in the healing world and in the alternative space. And that's what ultimately led me to create revival health, which is all about addressing health on an emotional, mental, and physical level. Because in my experience, it was the combination of all those three that was essential in becoming well and fundamentally shifting the relationship I have with myself, which then, in turn, shifted the relationship I have with other people.
Krystal Jugarap [00:03:37]:
I love that last little bit, you said, with really focusing on that relationship with yourself, but I kind of want to take it back a little bit. In one of my recent conversations, we were kind of talking about something similar, where she was going through her own kind of traumatic experience with a toxic relationship, and she was able to find healing in that journey. So I feel grateful to never have been in that position. But what does that healing journey look like when it's just starting out? Were you still in the relationship when you kind of realized, like, you needed to make a change? And how does that play out until you're finally gone from that?
Veronica W [00:04:14]:
So, in my case, and it is different for everyone, but I had never heard of a toxic relationship before. I didn't know what it was again. I just knew I was unhappy, and I was getting really sick, and there were a lot of things that were going on within me and around me that I couldn't explain. That just didn't make sense. And my life felt like a roller coaster that I couldn't get off of. That was just so much chaos and so much drama, and I felt out of control. And it was really frustrating, not only because I was physically unwell and emotionally and mentally just drained to, I mean, my chronic fatigue and my brain fog and all these symptoms were really, really bad, but I just didn't understand what was happening. And so for me, it wasn't until I was out that I came across this notion of toxic relationships and narcissism, et cetera.
Veronica W [00:05:11]:
And that's when I went down the rabbit hole and I started learning and educating myself. And then all of a sudden, things started to make sense twofold. To answer your question, for me, in my experience, you cannot heal in the same environment that made you sick. So I had to be out. And I don't believe there's a way to really truly heal if you're still in it, because you just keep getting bombarded with the same, can I say shit? With the same rubbish all the time. And all the abuse, the emotional abuse, sometimes physical abuse, the mental abuse, all the toxic tactics that a narcissist will use. Imagine if you take the extreme case, if you're in an environment where you're beaten all the time, you can try to heal, but if you're going to go home and get beaten again that night, you can't really heal. Does that make sense?
Krystal Jugarap [00:06:11]:
Yeah, absolutely. And that little statement that you made is so profound and I think can fit in so many different scenarios. Not even just toxic relationships like specifically, but you can't heal in the environment that made you sick. I think that can be applied in so many different situations and that really is so profound because being aware of it is one thing, but something's got to change, right? You have to take yourself out of that environment and into an environment that supports your healing journey and all these things that you were doing. So what exactly was it that you were doing in order to really foster a more incredible relationship with yourself?
Veronica W [00:06:50]:
So when I was in the relationship, obviously being sick and frustrated, I kept wanting my situation to change. And by the way, I'm sort of referring to romantic relationships, but this absolutely applies in family relationships, in the workplace and everywhere else. So it's not something that's just about romantic relationships. Those tend to have the biggest impact on you because of the sheer amount of time and proximity that you have and spend with the person. But yeah, I kept wanting the things around me and the people around me to change. And it wasn't until I could really sort of own it and take responsibility for my life to say, actually, if I want something to change, I have to change. Because if I look back and I start to really unpack where the patterns came from and why and how I ended up in a toxic relationship in the first place, the constant in all of that was me. And that was a really difficult thing for me to own, but it was actually the fundamental thing that I needed to do in order to begin to heal.
Veronica W [00:08:06]:
Because as long as I was looking for answers outside of myself and for everything and everyone else to change, then my situation ultimately wasn't going to change. And I had to realize that and then own that and understand that responsibility just means an ability to respond. So it's not like when I first heard it, I thought, how can anyone tell me I'm not responsible? I'm so responsible. I'm doing a million things all the time. I'm always looking after everyone else. But that's not what it is. It's an ability to respond. And I found that that was an absolutely critical, foundational point in my healing journey.
Krystal Jugarap [00:08:49]:
I think the same thing with kind of my mindset journey. When I started my business, one of those very first key elements that I really worked on when I began that journey was having a very deep self awareness. And it's hard to get to that point because you have to take a very honest look at yourself, like, are you actually doing all the things that you said you are doing or said you wanted to be doing, and are you actually being this person that you want to be? And what is it? How are you showing up? And is that really aligned with who you envision yourself as? Envision your future self? So I love that you pointed that out and then talk to us about how that's kind of been reflected in your outside world, right? Once you started having that better relationship with yourself, you said you saw that change in all of these relationships you've had with other people and kind of how your life progressed from there. So talk to us about all of those transitions and transformations that you started to see.
Veronica W [00:09:50]:
Well, it's definitely been a journey and I'm still on it. I'm not there. My life isn't perfect, but I'm pretty happy where I'm at right now. I have a lot of goals. And again, my life is far from perfect. And I believe we're all a work in progress. And as long as we're willing to keep doing the work and keep sort of working on ourselves, at least this is my experience in my life. And if I keep digging deep and showing up for myself and acknowledge when I am triggered and when I do fall short, then I think that's a beautiful thing.
Veronica W [00:10:26]:
Not an easy thing, though. But yeah, for me it was really. So I personally crawled into my shell at first because I was just at such a low point and my first step was educating myself. So what actually happened to me? Because I didn't understand what did it mean and what did that look like? And once I went down that road, I had all these light bulb moments and so much started making sense. I was like, oh, that's what that was. And that's what was going on. There. And you remember all these random moments as well, even from years ago or your childhood even, or that's what was going on with me.
Veronica W [00:11:06]:
And it's like the puzzle pieces just started to come together. And honestly, that was devastating, too, because I started to realize that my entire reality, everything that I had believed to be true, wasn't. And so then if my whole reality was wrong, who was I? And then it was that process of figuring out, well, who am I? And to rebuild that and really get to know myself and what I want and what I need. And like I said, that started with education. And then for me, it was really getting my physical body back in order, going through a lot of detoxing in my home and my physical body because I was so unwell and, of course, simultaneously and thereafter doing a lot of the emotional and the mental work to move myself forward. And then when I was finally ready to come out of my shell a little bit, I personally started with friendships. And through all the healing courses and therapies and everything that I did, I met other people. And the connections I formed on that journey was what helped me feel a little bit less alone because it was a lonely thing.
Veronica W [00:12:28]:
But what it also did was help align me with others with similar values or goals or interests, if that makes sense. And that's how I started to form new, very healthy friendships. And then my journey progressed from there. So it really was a step by step and a stage by stage journey to getting me where I am today.
Krystal Jugarap [00:12:53]:
Yeah. And journey is the right word for it. Definitely not. I mean, as much as it would be nice if a toxic relationship was just a tiny little blip in the radar, it consumed a lot of your life.
Veronica W [00:13:05]:
It's not linear either. There's a lot of up and down and back and forth. And the thing is, removing the toxic person or people from your life removes the source, but it doesn't remove the trauma. Our bodies keep score, and I have found, and even today, I actually just wrote about this the other day, trauma is not just stored in our mind, it's stored in our body. And sometimes our body will react and do things where we think, where did that come from? Or, why is this happening now? But if you have the tools to go back and look at it, you think, oh, actually, I know why my body's reacting this way now, and I just have to help it through it and teach it again that now it's safe and that it's okay and that it can respond differently from now on.
Krystal Jugarap [00:13:58]:
Yeah, absolutely. And I'm so grateful that you've gotten to that point where you are, you've recovered. And aside from the physical trauma, let's talk about the fears. Right. Because what you've created, revival health, you are really working to help women. I'm presuming majority is men.
Veronica W [00:14:19]:
Actually, you'd be surprised. Toxicity doesn't discriminate.
Krystal Jugarap [00:14:25]:
Right. Okay. So all of your clients coming out of these toxic relationships, you've mentioned that there is that fear that is also kind of a byproduct of this relationship. So talk to us about some of those fears that these people might be experiencing after a relationship like this. And what are your ways that you've been working with your clients to help them overcome that and start regaining their personal power, rebuilding their personal identity. Right. Because you kind of spoke to it a little bit like you didn't know who you were. Once that relationship was gone, it was like you were a completely blank slate. Like, in those kinds of relationship, it's almost like your identity is being given to you, and you really have to find who you are and recreate that.
Veronica W [00:15:09]:
Yeah. Because they're so controlling those environments that it's frightening, actually. It's very dangerous. And this, to your question of fear, for me, there were a multitude. And I see this as well, in clients that come out of it. For one, it's the fear that things will never get better, things will never change. It's just that if you're at such a low point, which most people are at the beginning of the journey, or there can be a high first it's like, oh, I'm out, finally. Now I can live.
Veronica W [00:15:41]:
But then what often happens is the low comes at some point. For me, the low came after I was out. Actually, that was my experience with it. And, yeah, one of the fears is, will things ever get better? What's it all for? What's the purpose? Because things are just so hard. Another fear is this deep, deep-seated fear of being alone. And that's often in toxic relationships, it's codependency. And again, I was unaware how codependent I was, but that's absolutely what I was. And that stems from this deep-seated fear of being alone.
Veronica W [00:16:24]:
And what if I never find someone again? What if? What if? What if? What if? And that's a real fear, which, again, comes back to changing the relationship we have with ourself. Because when we know that we're enough. Because underlying all that is, again, what if I'm not enough? What if nobody wants me? What if it's knowing that we are enough. And that's a journey, too. But for me, I found that's the foundation of it all, is because if I know I'm enough, then the fear of being alone diminishes as well. And knowing that nobody else, whether it's a romantic partner or a family member or a friendship or nothing, is going to complete me. I'm complete all on my own. People around me should add value into my life and so not subtract value. But they don't complete me. I'm not half or I don't have gaps. I'm whole and complete all on my own. And everyone else is to make life sweeter, right?
Krystal Jugarap [00:17:35]:
Yeah. I think the usual pattern once you get out of that relationship is, like you said, you feel very lonely and you don't know if you're wanted. So you kind of end up beginning that pattern of jumping into another relationship or anyone that is giving you a lot kind of attention. Right. And making you feel some kind of worth, even if it's completely below whatever your value is.
Veronica W [00:18:00]:
And that's how the cycle continues.
Krystal Jugarap [00:18:02]:
Yeah, absolutely. But then what you're helping your clients to do is really reclaim that power, taking that power away from whoever that partner or family or friend is and taking that power away from them to help you determine what your value is, because that is completely up to you.
Veronica W [00:18:19]:
Yeah, take your power back. Stop giving it away.
Krystal Jugarap [00:18:23]:
Absolutely.
Veronica W [00:18:25]:
Yeah. That's a process. Again, I work on an emotional, mental and physical level, and it's all part of that because in my experience, and I truly believe this, it's your physiology affects your psychology and vice versa, your psychology affects your physiology. So it's addressing the three elements and really going to get back in tune with your body. My program is actually called make your body your boss. And that's really part of reclaiming your power to get back in touch with yourself and to learn to listen and observe. And part of that is the outside part of it's the inside, and it's your emotions on the inside and having the courage to feel through that and to work through that. And that's where the coaching or some kind of support system can really be helpful, because it's going to be like, we all have tough moments.
Veronica W [00:19:28]:
I had them. And it's like helping keep you accountable and having someone or people there to help you as you go through that process, which does look a little different for everyone, but, yeah, addressing the physical sides and then one of the other first things I do with clients is have them go through their core values and really, look at that. It was such an enlightening thing for me on my path because I always thought I knew what my values were and that I was living in alignment with them. But then when I actually looked at my life, none of them rang true. For example, one of mine was respect, and I was like, but I respect everyone, but I wasn't respecting myself, and others were not respecting me in their actions. So just because I was respecting everyone else, I thought I was living my values. But actually, that wasn't the case at all. And again, that takes a lot of humility to be able to say, actually, no, I wasn't.
Veronica W [00:20:35]:
Because with that admission comes the shame and the guilt and back to fear and all those emotions that none of us like to feel, but we all do at some point or another. And being able to feel through them and work through them is very helpful.
Krystal Jugarap [00:20:58]:
Yeah, I like that. Well, first I want to go back to making your body your boss. I love that. I love the title of that. And it's so true, because there are often times where we'll find ourselves in situations where our mind is telling us one thing. Like, logically, this is what we wanted, right? Your body feels completely to the choir. Your body feels a completely different way. And you're like, I don't know, I feel kind of off, but I know this is what I said I was going to do or what I want.
Krystal Jugarap [00:21:25]:
But you do have to absolutely listen to your body, and I'm glad that you brought up alignment, and that's definitely something that I wanted to bring up today. So aside from really recognizing what your core values are and going back to that self awareness and seeing, am I really staying true to my core values, does it actually line up with this lifestyle that I want and with this future self that I envision myself as? What are some other things that your clients or just anyone that's listening can do to start making moves in order to create a life that feels more aligned to who they are, even if they are just kind of recreating themselves from scratch and finding that power, how would they even know what is alignment to them?
Veronica W [00:22:10]:
Yeah. So for me, what I found is that when you're not happy in life or when you don't feel good for whatever reason, even if you can't logically explain it, or you don't want to really see what's behind it, if you're not feeling good, that's the indication that you're living out of alignment with your values. So that in itself, the unhappiness or the discomfort or whatever you want to call it in itself, is the sign that you're out of alignment with your values and your own energy. And so it's a simple exercise. And I would encourage people looking to reinvent themselves or going through this to go really sit and come up, not with a long list, but like three or five, your core values, whatever those are, and then analyze your life and say, okay, well, where is it aligning and where isn't it? And then look for the gaps that way. Beyond that, it's really sitting down and saying, what do I want out of life? Because I found that my whole life was basically determined by other people. I was always waiting for someone else to tell me what to do. Which came, again, going back to the root of it, certainly in my childhood, you did what you were told.
Veronica W [00:23:36]:
That's it. There was no argument. And I carried that pattern throughout my life. So it's asking yourself, what do you want? Not what does your partner want, what your parents want, what your kids want. Because especially as women, I think we have this self sacrificial tendency of other people are always more important. But that's not the case, because when we are better, we are automatically better for everyone else around us. And so what is it that you want, not because of someone else, but for you, and start there with creating a vision of where you want to get to. And that's harder for people than you might think.
Krystal Jugarap [00:24:21]:
Absolutely. That is something that I have been preaching a lot of recently. And one of our missions with empowered by women is to really encourage women to pursue all these things that make them happy, especially our moms out there. Because once you're a mom, of course, that amplifies the whole, like, I need to put these tiny little humans before myself, but you have to take care of yourself as a mom. You have to take care of yourself as a woman. And once you do allow yourself that opportunity, try to get rid of the mom guilt or whatever as much as possible, which I know is impossible. It really has the opportunity to make so much impact on everyone around you, whether you think so or not. And when you're taking care of yourself, you are taking care of your children, you are taking care of your partner, your family, whatever the case may be.
Krystal Jugarap [00:25:13]:
And there is that really incredible ripple effect.
Veronica W [00:25:16]:
And you are also being a model for them of what self care looks like. Because kids, they don't do what they're told. They do what they see. Often, I think you say, do as you're told, and it's like, no, but I'll do what I see. They're always watching. They're always observing. And so if you are looking after yourself, they will take that on as, oh, sorry. Not only is that okay, but it's completely normal. And it becomes a non issue almost, as opposed to something that, oh, no, others first, others before you. I believe that kids really take that in.
Krystal Jugarap [00:26:04]:
I couldn't agree more. So I want to dive into a little bit about growing your business and the vulnerability aspect of it, because I'm assuming you doing what you do, you've had to share your story quite a bit, right?
Veronica W [00:26:20]:
Yeah. And that took me a while, for sure.
Krystal Jugarap [00:26:23]:
So what was kind of that journey like? And did you have some kind of pivotal moment where you were like, I need to just let it out. I need to share my voice. I need to share my story. And once you did, did you see any kind of significant adjustment in the way that your business moved or grew?
Veronica W [00:26:45]:
Honestly, for me, it was a process. It wasn't like one defining moment. I know some people have that. For me, it wasn't. It was really like, well, if I'm going to do this, people relate to people. So if you're not sharing your story, then what's going to draw them to you? It's like people identify with others they can identify with. And so I knew it would have to be part of it, but it definitely did take me a while to become comfortable with that. And it's also this balance of how much to share versus how not, because no one needs every gory little detail in there, but sort of what's the right balance? And that was a little bit of trial and error in my case, and just feeling my way through that until it felt good for me.
Veronica W [00:27:36]:
And the other side of that was becoming comfortable on camera, again, so awkward. And I was like, no, I'd rather write. I'd rather sit behind the computer and write. I was comfortable writing it far more than I was telling my story in front of a camera. And that was also a process of just take the first step. Like, action is better than no action. So just take one step, and it's probably going to be horrible, but that's okay. Then do it again, and each time it'll get a little bit easier. So that was my process of doing.
Krystal Jugarap [00:28:09]:
So it's about that messy action, right? Because every little thing you do, you kind of have to get over that first hump of, like, you're putting so much thought into it, but then you never take that first step, but you need to start building that momentum regardless of how pretty or perfect it looks.
Veronica W [00:28:27]:
And be okay with imperfect.
Krystal Jugarap [00:28:29]:
Absolutely.
Veronica W [00:28:31]:
For the perfectionists out there and the ocds and all of that, ask me how I know. It's like, just become comfortable with the uncomfortable.
Krystal Jugarap [00:28:39]:
Absolutely. I was the same way back then.
Veronica W [00:28:43]:
The whole healing journey is making the unfamiliar familiar. And so it's the same principle.
Krystal Jugarap [00:28:49]:
100%. Such a great tip. Yes, absolutely. Get rid of the perfectionism. I know it was a journey for me as well to kind of get comfortable with that point. But once you do, you do start seeing that momentum building and you start seeing different opportunities, and that's where you learn where you can improve and what you want to do. Do you have any other final tips for our listeners or our viewers today in terms of just getting out there, putting themselves out there and reclaiming their power and potentially for any business owners as well that are just starting out?
Veronica W [00:29:22]:
Yeah, I think know that it's okay to change and to pivot. And what you decide today doesn't have to be forever. You have the right to change whenever you want, whatever you want. And so if something feels good today, then explore that. And if it's not right six months from now or a year from now, that's okay. You will have learned something along the way, and maybe you helped one along the way, maybe you didn't. Maybe it was just a learning curve. Maybe it doesn't really matter.
Veronica W [00:29:58]:
Just know that if you want something, I really would encourage you to take any step towards it because there's not really a wrong step that you can take. And I think that applies in business and it also applies in life, because for me, it's all about how do I get better at life? Because it's all part of life. And quite frankly, in my case, it all starts with the relationship I have with myself, and that includes the business. Because if I can work through my internal roadblocks and fears and emotional ups and downs and the highs and lows, that's going to serve me in the business world as well. And it's going to make me more resilient, and it's also going to give me a lot more clarity about what feels good and what doesn't to me and what I want and what I don't. And I'm still on that journey. I definitely don't have it all figured out, but that's what I would say for private and business. If you want to get better at life, keep looking inside.
Krystal Jugarap [00:31:06]:
I have an extra little bonus question that I want to ask, while that came up, while you were talking, do you have any mantras or small, little routines that you do at the beginning of every day just to continue to strengthen that relationship with yourself?
Veronica W [00:31:24]:
So there are two really. Every day I remind myself that I am enough. And when I find myself living in the past or in the future, too much and I start spinning or I'm too much in my head, then I go back to this line that I heard not so long ago, but it spoke to me on such a deep level. And it's from a movie called Peaceful Warrior, which was made in the 90s. Highly recommend it if anyone's interested in watching it. And there's a line that continues throughout the movie, but at the end, the guy really gets it. It's about a gymnast and it says, where are you? Here. What time is it now? What are you? This moment.
Veronica W [00:32:13]:
So in a sense, it's like a mindfulness practice. But there's just something about those three lines that really got under my skin. And every time I catch myself again going too far back or too far forward and just spinning out a bit, those phrases come into my head, and it's really helped me a lot. I love that so much.
Krystal Jugarap [00:32:37]:
I think I'm going to start using that because I've definitely been in a space where I'm thinking too far ahead and I'm like, okay, we need to just kind of reground ourselves and focus back on the future, not on the future. See, that's where my head is. The present moment. I love that. So, Veronica, you are actually our second international guest. Do you have clients that you work with here in the States?
Veronica W [00:33:01]:
Yes. So everything can be done online, from the hypnotherapy to the coaching. And there's nothing that has to be done in person. So the clients really can be anywhere as long as the time zone is not crazy. Like Australia becomes a little difficult and even west coast us becomes a little more challenging, too.
Krystal Jugarap [00:33:21]:
Got it. So where can everyone find you if they are interested in working with you?
Veronica W [00:33:26]:
Sure. So my website is revivalhealth.ch or otherwise on Instagram, it's revivalhealthLLC that you can find me. And then there's a link to a lot of free goodies there and to my website as well. So definitely check it out and send me a message if you have any questions or want to get in touch. I'd love to hear from you. Awesome.
Krystal Jugarap [00:33:48]:
And you've been absolutely incredible, Veronica. So thank you so much for sharing your time with us. I know it's a little late there and you got a bunch of stuff to do. So thank you so much and hopefully, well, we will definitely talk soon since we're doing the whole women thrive summit and everything like that. But I appreciate you and love the work you're doing, so just keep at it and making the difference that you're making.
Veronica W [00:34:10]:
Thank you so much. Thank you for having me, Krystal, and I'll talk to you soon.
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