Krystal J [00:01:08]:
Today we have the incredible Paige Frisone. She is the founder of Inner Realm Wellness. She is a subconscious health practitioner, a published writer, a speaker, a global speaker, really, and someone that I've also connected with through Women Thrive, which is so funny. Just all these little connections that I've been seeing from Women Thrive, which we're going to dive into. But first and foremost, Paige, before I get too much into your story, thank you so much for joining us today.
Paige F [00:01:37]:
Thank you for having me. I'm just so excited. I feel like I'm already beaming ear to ear. But it's amazing to be here. I'm excited to dive into some really good content today.
Krystal J [00:01:47]:
I am excited as well. For those of you that have no familiarity with Paige, I've been listening to a little bit of her story from past podcast episodes that she's done or lives or whatever, and you will see that she is such an incredible and profound speaker and you will just feel all of her energy just exuding from our conversation. I already know it. Obviously, I can't tell the future. I don't know what a conversation is going to look like and what exactly we're going to dive into, but just know that this is going to be a good one. So I'm super excited about it. So, Paige, before I get too carried away, know, telling the world about your story and who you are, why don't you go ahead and take the mic. Tell us about your background and how that led you to doing what you're doing now and what exactly that all encompasses.
Paige F [00:02:38]:
Absolutely. Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm so grateful and also very humbled because I think anyone who does their research, and I do the same for you, I'm like looking up your Instagram and I know that we have the women thrive connection, but it just speaks volumes. And I really appreciate that feedback from you. So, as you mentioned, I am a subconscious health practitioner. I essentially serve people struggling with depression, anxiety, trauma and addiction to heal on a cellular level by locating the root emotions and memories that are living in the 95% of the invisible brain. So I do this really because I'm passionate about helping people know that they're designed to heal no matter what, regardless of diagnoses and limiting beliefs and life circumstances. And that work is simply fueled by having lost a decade of my own life to anorexia, depression, anxiety, self-harm, trauma, and ineffective prescription medication.
Paige F [00:03:36]:
So I was really subject to the revolving door, as I call it, where I was in and out of different levels of intensive care for more than a decade. And I got to a place where I had to ask myself, after learning the meditation techniques, after learning the mindfulness and the cognitive behavioral therapy, and after learning all of these self awarenesses about me, why wasn't I getting any better? In fact, why was I getting worse? And I had to do a lot of separating from the conventional medical system as well as just the conventional societal messaging that we're taught that we're just kind of here to struggle and suffer. And it is what it is. And I learned through my studies in school. I have a pretty unconventional background academically. I started in the midwest, and I actually graduated from a Buddhist inspired university where we learned contemplative psychology, we learned traditional eastern arts. We learned about integrative and holistic health. And I started studying the subconscious, which is 95% of our brain.
Paige F [00:04:40]:
It's the involuntary internal mechanism that we have that controls our heartbeat and our blinking and the things that we're not consciously thinking about. And so I learned that at the root of all of our physical symptoms are stuck emotions that haven't been processed. And we only know so much about ourselves and there's so much more that we don't know that we don't know. So I decided to go straight for the route. And it's fueled kind of the beginning of the rest of my journey.
Krystal J [00:05:09]:
I love how you say designed to heal. That's a phrase that I haven't heard, but I'm eager to dive into that. I am curious. So you are going through all of these things, trying to do a little research, because obviously you had been dealing with all of these things firsthand. The depression, the anxiety, you self harm, all of these things. So when you were going through that process, did you have any kind of itch or inclination that this was going to turn into what it has turned into for you, where it's now your business and you're helping others do the same?
Paige F [00:05:45]:
Holy moly. No, not at all. I didn't think that recovery was possible for me, if I'm being really honest with you. I was so committed to the struggle, because if I was going to struggle, at least I could be good at it. Like, I was very much a high performer, I was very self critical, I was a perfectionist, 4.0 GPA. I needed to be the best at everything. So if I was going to do it, I was going to do it well and hit it hard. And I was very good at self-sabotage and I was very good at really living in.
Paige F [00:06:18]:
Survival is a more accurate way to explain that, because nobody consciously chooses to suffer, nobody chooses to self-sabotage or be in pain. But I was really committed to the limiting belief that it was all my fault. Like everything I struggled with, it was one thing to struggle and it was another thing to blame myself for the struggle. And I did not have the proper education or resources to help me understand that we are here to heal. And even saying that in this society is controversial, people are like, nah, what about cancer? What about autoimmune? What about gastrointestinal stuff? What about this diagnosis? And those are my favorite types of people to work with, because when you know that we're designed to heal on a cellular level, it requires you to up your standard for living. And so I was studying trauma in school by textbook. I was studying what it is to have, quote unquote big t trauma, little t trauma. I was studying what happens to the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems.
Paige F [00:07:19]:
And I love geeking out about that stuff, but I could not understand how that applied to my life. I didn't even know what trauma was if you asked me. And in the treatment system, they help you with behavioral intervention, they'll help you stop doing those things that you can't seem to stop doing. But they don't necessarily address the why. And so if they don't address the why, we're subject to keep acting out those patterns and live further in our mind, which is partially the issue in the first place, because when we believe everything we think, it literally contributes to physical disease and that cycle continues. So, no, I had no idea this would lead me here. I did not think I would still be here on the planet, to be honest. I didn't think I would be in recovery, let alone able to help other people.
Paige F [00:08:07]:
But I always wanted it. I was so connected to my therapist throughout my life because I was like, you're just so cool. You seem like you got it all together. You seem like really stylish and just grounded and embodied. And that's what I wanted. And to see that vision, to have that vision in front of me throughout these different stages of my life, I think really helped me subconsciously get where I am today.
Krystal J [00:08:32]:
Isn't it so interesting when we can, as you were saying, you were researching all of these things and it totally made sense to you, but you couldn't figure out how that applied to you, right? And I think that applies to so many different things in life. Like, we see something, we believe it to be true, but when it comes to us, it's like, no, no way in heck. And it's such a weird disconnect or this wall that we put up where we're preventing all of that logic that we see right in front of us to apply to who we are as individuals, because for some reason we don't connect the dots there. So when you were healing, how much of that was, do you think, attributed to your own personal, just reflection? And how much of that was attributed to all of this external help that you got?
Paige F [00:09:28]:
Yeah, it's a great question. I will say that by nature, if you take away what I offer now and take away all of the disease and disorder that I was experiencing back then, by nature, my soul is very much a seeking soul. I'm here to, quote, unquote, explore consciousness and figure it out. And I've always been somebody who lived in her mind up until learning that that's where disease really starts. And when we can use our mind as a tool for healing, I think that changes the whole game for everyone. But I've learned to do it a bit differently now. I've learned to interact with myself differently. And I don't think that sustainable health comes from just thinking your way through things.
Paige F [00:10:16]:
I think there has to be a balance of action paired with understanding for things to be sustainable. And what I love about the subconscious work is that I would never in a million years think that what I'm currently experiencing, whether it's a headache, stomachache, feeling insecure, feeling sensitive or anxious, or whatever my present experience is, would be attributed to a memory of mine from when I was two years old or when I was in utero, or maybe it's a past life, or maybe it's a generational pattern. I would never consciously think to attribute my present experience to what's living subconsciously under the surface. And that's why it can be, like, a more expedited process to do subconscious work, because when you go into a talk therapy environment, and I love talk therapy for what it's used for, but it'll never address what you think needs to be addressed in that moment. To shift the pattern at the root, it might give you a temporary relief. It might help you understand yourself a little bit better, and that's fantastic. But if that's only 5% of the brain, it's only going to get us so far. So, to answer your question, I think that the subconscious work was a huge catalyst to getting me where I am today in the timeline that it's gotten me here.
Paige F [00:11:36]:
I think the personal reflection is just something I love to do anyway, but it's not necessarily what I attribute to getting me here. And then I will say that the third component we have the conscious reflection, like, we're talking about the subconscious healing under the surface. And then the third thing for me was actually taking myself off of all my prescription medication, which I always say to people, don't do that. I went cold turkey, and I share my story about that. And it was intense, and it was very much divine intervention for me. It was not pleasant or fun, but it helped me prove what I had been hearing, which is that we're designed to heal. And it helped me prove to myself as my own kind of science experiment, that our baseline, our homeostasis, is designed to be at home base. And I could recalibrate, and I could allow that equilibrium to come back.
Paige F [00:12:30]:
And then my thoughts started changing and my feelings started changing, and I was like, wait a second. I think I'm stronger than I think I am. And that became a new physical foundation for me to be able to hold space for other people. And so I think it's a little bit of everything when it comes to mind integrating into body, body integrating with the mind to see what's on the other side of that.
Krystal J [00:13:44]:
That's so interesting to me that you were able to make that decision to just go cold turkey with all of your prescription medications. And I wanted to dive into that a little bit more because clearly you're very analytical. So was that choice very experimental? Like, this is my theory, this could potentially happen? Or was it more of like a gut feeling, like an intuition thing that you were just following?
Paige F [00:14:12]:
Honestly, the reason I say it was divine intervention is because I had no conscious intention to do that. I will say so. I was in my last semester at school, and we were learning about pharmaceuticals. We were learning about the impact of long-term use, which was never what western medicine was designed to do, and the repercussions of becoming dependent, psychologically, physically, emotionally, whatever, on these pills. So I knew for the decade I was on all these pills, and they weren't effective. There was no substantial evidence or outcome to support why I was on them. And I was on more and more as the years continued and I started becoming diagnosed with things that required antipsychotics. And I think there were a lot of things about that that were subconsciously pathologizing, like, what's wrong with me? So every time I put these pills in my mouth, I'm like, I know, I feel like I'm bad for doing this, or I feel wrong, or I feel broken, or I feel crazy.
Paige F [00:15:14]:
And I'm reinforcing these stories every time I'm telling myself I have a chemical imbalance. And that's also reinforcing the stories I've been told for all these years. Because for somebody with all of these quote unquote issues, right, there has to be a story to support it. And it became kind of an enigma in the western world. So my senior year of college, when I'm learning about all these things, I started growing very reluctant. Just reluctant. At first it was indifferent. It was like, I don't want to take these, but I'm habituated to take them, so I'm just going to take them anyway.
Paige F [00:15:49]:
And then I always start to question, why am I doing this? And then I started getting really angry because I was like, I don't want to have to do this anymore. And so I think that was all going on under the surface. I wasn't really consciously aware of it. But no joke, I kid you not. I remember looking at my pill bottles empty and just being like, I'm not going to refill those. You can't ask me to do that. It's just not something I want to do anymore. And I was like, ten days or two weeks off of them before I was like, oh, gosh, I should probably tell somebody.
Paige F [00:16:20]:
I should probably tell my therapist. I should probably tell my psychiatrist. I should probably let people know that I'm not on the protocol anymore. And my therapist, this person has been monumental in my life. I wouldn't be who I am without her influence. I remember reaching out to her because she's very unconventional. I'm very unconventional. She's pretty nonclinical, which I appreciate.
Paige F [00:16:42]:
And she was like, listen, if you're already 10, 12, 14 days off these things and you're not suicidal, you're not going through like, a heavy detox, you're not experiencing x, y or z, what does your intuition say? If it says, stay the course, I'll support you. If it says, go back on, I'll support you. And she kind of gave me permission to follow my true north, which I was so blessed and grateful for. And then, of course, my psychiatrist dropped me right away because I became a liability to not follow that protocol. But for those two weeks, I go into what I call the cave. It was very dark, it was very dense. It was brain fog. It was like dissociation.
Paige F [00:17:18]:
Where am I? What is time? And at the same time, I could feel that there was something on the other side of that if I could just stick it out. And if I'm being really honest, it took up probably two years to recalibrate fully, and it came in stages, and it felt like a sobering process. It felt kind of like if I went through withdrawal from chronic drug and alcohol use, all of a sudden I'm, like, having a direct experience with life. I could directly feel my feelings. I could directly think in a different way. And I just felt very new and fresh and young and kind of naive because I'm like, wow, here I am at age 26, and I feel like for the first time, I'm getting it. So that was a little bit of my journey.
Krystal J [00:18:00]:
I love that it started with, like, a hint of rebellion, and it started with asking, right? Being willing to ask the question, like, why am I even doing this? What is it doing for me? Because so often we get so stuck in this routine, right? And like what you said, society tells us we need all these things. So just by habit and just by nature, we're just okay, sure, whatever. Going through the motions, not willing or even thinking to question anything because it's so part of our daily routine. But getting to that point where you are willing to ask the questions, that's really where that pivotal moment in your journey begins. And you are willing to ask that question and not only ask the question, but stick it out, right?
Krystal J [00:18:45]:
And it's so real, your story, because it wasn't just this immediate shift. Like, I stopped taking it. I felt better. I was healed. It was magic. It's a process, and that's really for anything. Once you start kind of shifting the status quo of how everything is supposed to be, you'll start to see all those little things, like, okay, things are starting to change. Some doors are opening.
Krystal J [00:19:10]:
Some things are closing. Things are getting weird. But you have to be willing to stick it out, which is what you did, and you've found this kind of peace within yourself and happiness. Right. So I want to go back to the self-sabotaging piece that you mentioned. So what was that kind of mindset shift to recognize that you were in that pattern of self-sabotaging? And because it is more than just self-reflection, did you have any methods to keep you accountable in that process?
Paige F [00:19:47]:
Amazing question. Yes. So how do I go for this? This is a big one. Self-sabotage is really. I have so much compassion for that pattern because I think so many people struggle with it. And really what it is is the mind, body, and spirit, sometimes all at once and sometimes separately, working to protect us in whatever way they can. And so if that means the mind and body are at war, all we can really feel or perceive at that time is like chaos, but there is wisdom in it. And at the time that the self-sabotaging is occurring, I feel like there's no ability to be aware that this is happening for a wise reason.
Paige F [00:20:30]:
And so it's like chaos begets chaos begets chaos. And for me, one of the most linear things I can connect self sabotage to was the self harm. And I don't talk about this often, but the self harm for me was the stopping of the self harm, for me, was a huge spiritual experience, similar to how getting off medication was kind of divine intervention. And I suffered from seven years of chronic night terrors when I was a kid. So I was subject to these psychic invasions every single night where I would be attacked. I'd wake up in the morning not having any recollection of what had happened, but there'd always be an episode in the night where I would wake up screaming bloody murder. And it was as though my space was just being invaded. And I would see certain things, and I wouldn't be able to name them verbally to anyone.
Paige F [00:21:22]:
So it felt like my original memories in life were very much ones of fear and paralysis and not having a voice. And that continued into a lot of this decade when I was at my worst manifestation of sickness. Because when I self harmed, I started to learn that every single time I did that, I would experience psychic attacks that night. So I'd go to bed, same thing would happen. I'd have these lower level energies, or these shadow beings or whatever you want to call them, these entities coming into my space and essentially preying on my low vibration. So I got to a place of severe spiritual crisis, because I'm starting to think to myself, why is it that the universe is punishing me for already struggling? Isn't the struggle enough? Right? Isn't me hating myself enough? Why can't I just take my time to figure it out? And I felt very victim mindset e at that time, because I was like, listen, I'm struggling with my body. I'm struggling with my emotions. I'll get there when I get there, but give me time and space.
Paige F [00:22:36]:
And it was the hardest lesson of tough love I've ever learned. Because when I started tracking the pattern that every time I self harmed, there were repercussions for that, I started then thinking in a different way of, like, oh, if there are repercussions for self sabotage or self loathing or self hatred or whatever it is, then there have to be rewards or positive feedback for loving yourself. And so it prompted this curiosity of, like, is that true? Does a plus b equal c in this formula? Right? If I hate myself and the universe is showing me that bad is going to create more bad, is going to create more bad, then maybe good creates more good creates more good. And so, by the law of contrast, right, for every negative, there's an equal and opposite positive. I started exploring the curiosity of that, of, oh, what would it be to love myself? And mind you, this took many years, right? This is not an overnight thing. But I did stop the self-harming directly as a result of those entities that were coming in and kind of retraumatizing my system. And they did stop. And so that in itself, that commitment, that decision to love myself, even in that way, by just stopping the self-sabotage pattern, I could feel my vibration start to shift. And then my relationship to the world started to shift as well.
Krystal J [00:23:57]:
I love the way you put that. And I've never really considered it in that way and you're so right about this victim mentality where we kind of get stuck in this place where it's like I'm already suffering, why do bad things always happen to me? But it's essentially because you're keeping yourself in that low vibration and you're keeping yourself in that space and not willing to elevate yourself to a place of self love. But when you speak of self love, that is of course, easier said than done. So what kind of tips or practices can someone who has that habit of self sabotage, of self loathing, what are ways that they can get to that place of self love so that they can start increasing their vibration and realizing what all those amazing rewards are right for having that shift in that mindset and starting to look at things more positively? What tips do you have for women or anyone, really, that's kind of in that space right now?
Paige F [00:25:05]:
Yeah, this is so important. I appreciate the question because I find that in society, it's easy to get on the pendulum where you can jump from self hate to self love. And I would be very cautious about that desire or that temptation because it's not sustainable that way. It's kind of like a yoyo diet. Like it's never going to help you actually shift the relationship with yourself to do that. And so what I would say is, for every person, it's unique, right? Everyone's relationship to self and self love is unique. And I think self love has become one of those words that's very nebulous in society these days of what does it even mean anymore? So I would encourage everyone with pen and paper or whiteboard or computer, whatever you like, to map out for yourself a little bit of a bite size milestone chart to see how you can work your way there. And that means every single day making one commitment to yourself.
Paige F [00:26:07]:
And that might mean stopping a particular behavior that's self loathing before getting to active self love, because sometimes the stopping of the negative behavior is the self love, right? So if that means one day I'm going to choose to drink two more glasses of water today than I usually do, awesome. If that means today I'm going to start my day with a slice of lemon in my water, awesome. If that means today I'm going to say yes to the cookie or say no to the cookie, awesome. Really, it's about working the self muscle. And the more you touch into yourself and you ask yourself every single day, do I want this or that? Does this feel better or does this feel better? Right. How do I feel when I think of this versus how do I feel when I think of that? Those types of inquiries are the act of self love in motion. So it doesn't have to be this destination. But once you're on the journey of working that self love, self commitment muscle, I find that it's so much easier to have those grander gestures of telling yourself you love yourself, of giving yourself the hugs, of doing the baths and the meditation and the yoga and all of those more prided actions that we talk about in society.
Paige F [00:27:25]:
So I would really encourage massaging your way, taking it bite by bite, day by day, figuring out what that means and looks like for you. And use your intuition, because the second you ask yourself is, the second you'll get an answer.
Krystal J [00:27:38]:
I also love the idea of writing it down because then it becomes this tangible thing, right? Because, of course, if you are on that pendulum where you're going back and forth between self love and self loathing, there's going to be days where you are not in the headspace to be like, yes, self love, I love myself. I'm awesome, whatever. You're in that self loathing space. But if you're able to kind of go back and read all those days where you had all those little moments that did elevate you a little bit, that could be just the push that you know, or you needed to recognize that it's possible, or even just to remind yourself and give yourself that little positive spark, even just for that day, right? Even if it's just that tiny little thing. All of those things can snowball into a more everlasting self love, which is really the end goal. And now look at you. You are in that place of everlasting self love, and you're not only in that place for yourself, but you are sharing that with the world, and you are sharing your story with the world and impacting so many people with your story. So can you speak to us about the importance of being able to become vulnerable with your audience.
Krystal J [00:28:51]:
I mean, of course, our audience is essentially all entrepreneurs. And for me, I think that authenticity and vulnerability is a critical piece in being successful as an entrepreneur. So can you speak on that and how that plays a role in how you connect with everyone and how you're building your business?
Paige F [00:29:11]:
Absolutely. This is critical for me, too. And it's something that really jarred me. Believe it or not, I'm a very emotional person. I'm very sensitive and fluid. And at the same time, when I learned that you could be vulnerable, like, when I was given permission and actually shown that I needed to be vulnerable in order to build my business, I was like, wait, what? I can bring all of me to the table. I can bring my authentic, holistic self here. That's wild.
Paige F [00:29:41]:
And there's curiosity in that for me, too. I was like, let's see. Let's see how deep I really can go. That said, while it's required and critical to be vulnerable in whatever business you have for me, I'm in a service-oriented business that deals with helping people process emotions. So of course we're going to be in that all the time. If you're doing something else, like a marketing business or kind of visibility work, that's different and that's going to look different for everyone. But I've had to learn how to have boundaries, too, because I've toggled all ends of that. I'm like, oh, being vulnerable means no boundaries.
Paige F [00:30:14]:
Let me share everything and anything, and I've had to learn where I end and somebody else begins. Right? And what is in service to share and what is something I'm willing to share and ready to share versus not willing to share and not ready to share, and how to work with all of those parts at any given moment. So, yeah, I have learned recently, like within the last year, very quickly, that the world needs your story and that it is a disservice to withhold your heart from others because the thing that you think you shouldn't say or can't say or won't say is potentially the exact thing that somebody else is needing to hear that can change their life. And working subconsciously. I work with the invisible. I love the invisible. I can feel it. We can all feel it, even if we can't tangibly know it's there.
Paige F [00:31:08]:
And so your invisible reach, your invisible impact in the world, is infinite. And you might never know the impact that you have by being vulnerable. And it is like anything else, working a muscle. So just got to practice it. But I'm so grateful to be in safe spaces like this where I do get to share my story, because some of that is about having discernment of who can handle it, who can't, who can hold you, who can't, how to take care of yourself every step of the way. And I would encourage every single business owner, entrepreneur, solopreneur out there to work this inner muscle, because I treat business as an animate entity. It's living. It's a somatic reflection of me.
Paige F [00:31:54]:
It's the externalization of my insides. So whatever I'm going through, it's going to show up in my business. And the more I heal, the more my business heals. And the more I get to do the work inside, the more my clients get to benefit and I can show up more fully. So I would just encourage that dance, know that no one's perfect. And, yeah, make it an explorational space where you can just allow yourself to see what's on the other side of that dark, scary, hard place that you thought you would never go to.
Krystal J [00:32:26]:
Paige, I am not just saying this. I could listen to you for, like, hours. I love the way that you speak on these kinds of topics with such eloquence and poise and heart. And it's clear in the way that you kind of navigate your business, and you're still bringing that self love into it. Right? Being able to establish boundaries, that is still making sure you are practicing that self love and that mindfulness and being authentic doesn't mean you have to put everything out there all the time for everyone. So I'm so glad you pointed that out. I wish we can go on and on, but clearly, we are ending our time here. So where can everyone find you and all of the amazing work you do? And, of course, shout out the book, too, because Paige has a little chapter in the book.
Krystal J [00:33:18]:
Well, I'm not going to say little, but she has a chapter in the book. And if you want to dive into her story more, definitely read it. But go ahead, Paige, share all the places and the things.
Paige F [00:33:28]:
Yeah. Thank you so much. Yeah. So, actually, a lot of what we chatted about today is in the chapter that I wrote in the women thrive, volume two. It's entitled inspiring true stories of women overcoming Adversity. So I do talk about the coming off medication. I do talk about a lot of the eating disorder struggle, the mental health struggle, and certain things that we can all do within our family systems, within our internal system, to heal sustainably so you can locate that book at womenthrivesummit.com/book and whatever country you're in, you can find your country and order that right away.
Paige F [00:34:04]:
And then my business's name is Inner Realm Wellness. So you can find that on all my social media channels, Facebook, Instagram @innerrealmwellness and then on my website. Total download of information there for you as well about what I offer and how we work together, if you're open to working together. So that website is innerrealmwellness.life. And there's a free gift there. You can hang out a while, you can learn a lot about me, but regardless, would love for you to connect and let me know what you've resonated with about our conversation today.
Krystal J [00:34:37]:
Love it. And as always, all of those links will be in the show notes. So definitely reach out to Paige. She is incredible, as you've already heard. Like I said, I can continue listening to her, so I'm sure you want to dive into more of what she has to say. But thank you so much Paige. It's been an absolute joy to have you. I am honored to be able to share our platform with.
Paige F [00:34:59]:
Oh, thank you. You're amazing. I appreciate it so much.
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